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Hey Shorty,
I'm very fond of rolling in dead things in my back
yard, but then my parents are always giving me a bath and getting rid of my
new aroma. How can I avoid getting a bath?
Signed,
Lovely Aroma
Dear Lovely Aroma,
I understand your dilemma completely. I’m very fond of
knocking off a lizard and then rolling in it a few days later. Humans tend
to forget that we’re dogs and that is our instinct.
When your parents say the word bath or they take off
your collar, they are likely going to give you a bath. Be careful, once
they realize you know what bath means, they may start spelling it. Your
best bet is to run away as quickly as possible. If you’re small like I am
you can fit in places where humans can’t go. Try under a bed or in a
crowded closet or behind a large piece of furniture. If that doesn’t work
do your best to dodge them, sometimes they tire out and leave you alone.
If they catch you anyway make sure you tuck your tail
and cry a little, that makes them feel bad. My Mom used to smear peanut
butter on the sink to distract me. When I was a puppy I was so busy with
the peanut butter I forgot about the bath.
Now that I’m older I still give Mom the pitiful look
during my bath, but I usually feel very peppy afterwards. One other thing to
remember, if they do give you a bath, don’t shake off too soon, wait until you’re
inside and shake with complete abandon.
Have a question for me? Please send me a note at
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